The Gospel according to Brother Les While

Verily I say unto you, brethren and sisteren. Harken unto me and heed my words;

Lo, it came to pass that the beasts of the field in the far off land of the White Virgin Rose were fearful and did shake greatly in their fleeces. For news had come that the dreaded Hystericals of Quaint-One were desireth of descending upon them and they were sore afraid.

For yea, it had come to pass that the renowned Bare-Nard, the leader of the Hystericals, had in his wisdom besought a boon of him who held Weston, by the great and mighty ocean, that he would offer unto the Hystericals bed and sustenance even for four nights in his great house.

So it was that Bare-Nard and a score and ten of the tribe did put themselves into the hands of the trusted charioteer, Que-Vin, he of goodly countenance. Que-Vin did by divers and devious means, for knew he of great works, guide the mighty chariot to the north to the land which was once beset by the Danish horde who did pillage, rob, burn and to their shame made lager. So they went forth and on their journey came upon a vast chasm in the earth. It is written that a great ogre, one Och Aye, had disgraced himself at this place. They went hence, with the wind, unto a great temple of stone filled with great works of Man and they were full of wonderment. It came to pass that they came to a vast hall, for they had followed De-Sign, and therein were merchants offering unto them rich cloths of many colours from far Cathay.

At the House of Weston the Hystericals did partake of rich food and wine rejoicing in the eventide in song and merriment.

Verily the days were filled, the chariot travelled far across the White Virgin Rose land seeking new sights to delight the eye, fallen down temples, ancient inns and great vistas.

Also did they homage to a renowned physician and scribe; one Herriet, Dry wit of Thirst, who tended the beasts of the field and they marvelled at the fiendish devices with which this lover of animals sought to change their characters. On the last day the travellers came upon an ancient camp wherein graven images did mysteriously move, with fire and brimstone, as if alive to show the ways of the Great Battles of long ago.

So it was that the Hystericals did return even unto Quaint-One with joy in their hearts and in their purses a great emptiness.

Here endeth the lesson.

©Les While - QLHS 2004

Ed's comment- For those who travelled on the Turkey & Tinsel to Scarborough the above will have fond memories. However, I think that the ode from the society's bard is worthy of inclusion for you all to read. Many thanks Les.

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